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The Masshole Anthem – Rap-Poem by Josh Mitchell September 10, 2010

Posted by vscorpiozine in Uncategorized.
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The Masshole Anthem
By
Josh Mitchell


The Masshole in one,
The fun’s begun,
Work’s done,
It’s Friday night,
Let’s drink some beers son.

Just picked up a cube of Miller Lite from the packy.
Who’s got the wacky tobacky?
Sox just signed John Lachey and your girl is feigning my sack like a hackey.

Pop a lime in her Corona,
Flash my teeth, I own her, pop a boner,
“That’s the size of Daytona” – Beach,
Reach for the golden nectar, kill it like Hannibal Lecter.
I bang all the beers back, fuck your wife bare back and have the baby,
Cut the chord, clean her up, and get her wetter than The Navy.

DRINK SUDS WITH YOUR BUDS – IT’S THE WEEKEND!

I’m the masshole girl you heard about,
Yeah, I’m down for shagging,
I’ll do two shots of Jager while I blow you at The Flagan.
Or we could go wine and dine in the Back Bay,
I’ll buy million dollar drinks at Saint and let you pay.
What can I say?
I like rich guys and fancy cars and I wear slutty pushup bras so I can meet them in bars.

DRINK RUM WITH YOUR CHUM – IT’S THE WEEKEND!

Raise your cups, the music erupts, hiccups through your body,
You’re naughty, you’re nice,
Cool like Vanilla Ice, Hot like Harry Potter,
Your girlfriend can shoot Ping-Pong balls out her cucchi, guess who taught her?

Me.

The master of the golden glow, crazy like Dr. Demento, confusing like Memento, kicking like tae kwon do,

Your girl’s a Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Heini Ho,

I don’t mean to be mean but the broad gives more head than a guillotine – and she’s only seventeen.

Wait until she matures, she’ll be doing more love chores than a posse of evil whores on dirty floors.

Welcome to The Bean, baby, where we don’t pronounce our Rs,

Welcome to The Bean, Baby, where we chug vodka out of jars.


BIO

Josh Mitchell is a writer-publicist-filmmaker who runs Wickid Pissa Publicity – www.wickidpissapublicity.com

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